A Message To Families
By Mary-Michael Levitt, Ed.S., LPC, LMFT

Families are struggling with complicated social and cultural issues which have broadened the generation gap and left members feeling anxious, confused and uncertain. Parents used to enjoy introducing their children to a rich culture, now they try to protect them from a technology and media culture that socializes their children in ways that conflict with their own family values. Families are under pressure to have more influence on shaping their children's future with positive, meaningful and sustaining experiences.

Our family system has lost access to neighborhoods, extended family, playtime and a sense of community. Mom and Dad are split between balancing employment schedules which include longer hours and increased travel time, their children's athletic competition schedules, household responsibilities, that leave them exhausted and distant. The fact is the culture and society has changed so rapidly everyone is racing just to keep up.

While families benefit from the advances in technology, they need to adjust to those changes in order to maintain a consistent sense of togetherness and kinship. As the culture becomes more frightening, the parents become more anxious to protect their children. The dilemma of providing more structured parenting to a generation that has grown more independent and unfazed by parental restrictions is indeed a daunting task.

However, research shows that making some simple and manageable adjustments to family life has led to far reaching success in maintain a cohesive sense of family.

The main culprit, which is only a click away, is the TV. Researchers all agree that the visual impact of having a TV on when family members are congregated in one room, takes away from the level of closeness those members can experience together at that given time. TV used to be close family time when there was only one TV in the home and everyone gathered for that weekly show to relax and enjoy. Not any more, TV is now background noise that has to be talked over. Experiments with families where they have committed to turning off the TV for one month proved that measures of closeness and enjoyment of each other's company increased as families looked to ways to fill that TV time. Couples reported their communication improved once the TV had been turned off during crucial quiet times such as before sleep and during and after dinner.

Try This Family Experiment:

Agree to watch one hour of TV per night. The catch is all family members must agree on the chosen show to watch or the TV will have to stay off.

Observe the family process and talk it through.

Book Review
Find at your local Library

The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families by Mary Pipher, Ph.D
A Grosset/Putman Book 1996

A frank discussion about what families need to thrive, succeed and nurture its members.

Mary offers an honest and well researched overview of contemporary families and the issues they face. The Shelter of Each Other... concentrates on understanding the demands facing families today and how to preserve a cohesive healthy family unit. Her passion on the behalf of rebuilding the family as the backbone of society speaks volumes of meaning and wisdom.